YOUTH
AND
SPOUSE SELECTION



Preface13
Forword17
Introduction21
Chapter One : Excellence of Marriage 29
Man and WOman : Enhancements of Each Other 29
Spouse : A Big Blessing from Allah 30
Marriage Philosophy 30
Spouse : The Sign of Allah's Wisdom and Spouse of Man's Comfort 32
Marriage : The Imporver of the Value of Man's Practices 33
The Lovelest Centre to Allah 34
The Medal of Honour 34
Chapter Two : When Must We Marry? 37
The Puberty Age 39
Marriage : A Medium of Reaching Allah 44
The Time of Sexual and Mental Maturity 46
The View of an Expert 48
Discussion with a Friend in This Connection 50
It is Wrong to Dash into a Rock 54
Chapter Three : Tge Merits of Timely a Marriage
and Demerits of its Delay 		57
Securing and Strengthening True Faith and Spiritualism 57
A Sad Specimen : 58
An Auspicious and Blessed Specimen 60
Benefitting and Enjoying a Sweet and Cheerful Youth 60
A Sorrowful Specimen 62
Remaining Pure From Corruption and Sexual 64
Safety From Nervous and Spiritual, Diseases 68
Chapter Four : Difficulties and Hurdles of Marriage 71
Difficulties : Real or Artificial? 71
First Difficulty Economic and Monetary Difficulty 73
Solutions : Allah's Supports 73
The Good News Given by the Leaders of Islam 75
A Beautiful Example 76
New Horizons 77
Job Facilities and Allowances 78
Attaining Status and More Reverence 79
Special Marriage Loans 79
Decreasing the Ceremonies and Additional Expenses 80
A Beautiful Specimen of Simple Living 84
Second Difficutly : Continuation of Education 86
The Real Problem 86
Contemplating This Difficulty 86
Solution to This Problem 89
To Drive the Thought Out of One's Mind That
Education is not Harmonious with Marriage 		89
The Religious and Lawful Engagement 90
Parent's Help to the Son and the Daughter 91
Birth Control 92
Contentment 92
Cooperation 93
A Word with Parents in this Regard 94
Third Difficulty : Difficulty Spouse Selection 95
The Solution 95
Fourth Difficulty : Hurdles and hindrances of the Elders and Friends 95
A Gloomy and Sad Example for your Attention 97
A Curious and Strange Example 99
An Agonistic Letter 101
Solution 103
Direct Negotiations with the Hurdle-Creators and Fault-Finders 103
Appointing a Mediator 104
A Specimen for Your Attention 104
Fifth Difficulty : Military Service 114
Solutions : Long Term Solution 115
Short Term Solution 1- Religious and Legal Engagement 115
Staying in the House of One's in-Laws 116
Parents' Help 116
Sixth Difficulty : Presence of Older Brothers and Sisters 116
Solution to this Problem 117
Seventh Difficulty : Dwelling 117
Solution 117
Long Term 117
Short Term Solution 118
Temporarily Staying at the Parents' Home 118
Renting a House 118
Eighth Difficulty : Inability of the Youth to Manage and Run Their Life 118
Ninth Difficulty : Natural Difficulties 119
Philosophy of These Difficulties and Hardships 119
A Word withe the Elders 124
A Social Disease 126
Chapter Five : Criteria of Spouse Selection 129
Whom May We Select as a Spouse? 129
Subtlety! 130
Subtlety in Selection, Smoothness in Marriage 131
Criterial of Spouse Selection 132
Religiousness 133
The Fruits of Religiousness 137
What Should the Irreligious Youths Do? 137
Morality 139
Status of Morality in Spouse Selection 139
Specimens of Decent and Indecent Behaviour 140
Third : Nobility of the Family 143
Fourth : Reason (Basic Condition for Both Parties) 147
Meaning of Reason as Defined by Imam Sadiq 148
An Unpleasant Specimen 149
A More Unpleasant Specimen 150
Fifth : Physical and Mental Health 151
Consider This Miserable Specimen : 152
Sixth : Beauty 153
Seventh : Knowledge and Education 157
Eighth : Being Each Other's Match 158
Salient Points of Inco-Ordination of Ismail and Safoora 163
Refuting a Doubt 163
Conditions of Compatibility 164
Discussing the Future Aims and Probable Changes Before Marriage 182
Avoiding Negligence 191
Love; The Pivot of Life 192
Kinds of Love 197
Lasting Love 200
A Magnanimous and Beautiful Specimen : 201
Mutual Love 204
A Net of Deception 204
An Artificial Life is Unendurable 211
Chapter Six : Selection 213
Time to Act 213
Selection 214
Perfect Recognition 215
Ways of Spouse Selection 216
First Way : Seeking Advice 216
A Sage Guide 216
The Qualities of an Adviser 217
Second Way : Mediator and Introducer 218
Kinds of Mediators 219
Third Way : Investigation 223
Acceptance or Rejection Needs Logic 224
Ways of Investigation and How to Corss Them 224
Fourth Way : Sending a Messenger 227
Peculiarities of a Messenger 228
Fifth Way : Writing a Letter 229
Sixth Way : Photograph 230
Seventh Way : Direct Talk 230
Eighth Way : Seeing Each Other 236
Protecting the Girl's Dignity 239
Omentation 240
Kinds of Omenation 240
The Correct Use of Omentation 242
Fate!
247
Crossing the Slippery Road! Complete Caution at Every Step 248
Self-Sacrificial Marriage 250
Remorse Before Marriage 254
The Cause of This Remorse 256
Family Marriages 268
Children's Engagement 270
Chapter Seven : Engagement Period 271
The Need of an Engagement Period 272
The Value of the Engagement Period 286
The Length of the Engagement Period 290
Leave the Real Marriage for the Marriage Night 309