The Muslim Lifestyle In American Society
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The extreme change in dress is probably the hardest shift for the parents and relatives to accept when a daughter becomes Muslim. It seems to us such an extreme statement about what they have chosen. For some of the women themselves, choosing to dress modestly and cover themselves has been readily accepted and incorporated in their practice; for others it has been very difficult to do.
The passage from the Qur'an that prescribes the covering describes it this way: Tell the believing men to lower their gaze, and protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze, and protect their private parts and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent and to draw their veils over their bosoms and not to display their adornment except to their husbands, or
+Wearing hijab was easy, but people were always asking me if I had some sort of disease. They seemed to assume that I had lost my hair and I was covering up my baldness. Then after I explained about the religious reasons and significance of wearing hijab, they would say, "You mean I can never see your beautiful hair again?" It was as if my personal choice of practicing my own religion was taking away one of their pleasures or privileges and they did not approve of that They missed the point.
+I have worked out with my parents and other family members my choice to be Muslim. The main point of stress has been hijab or the Islamic dress. I think this is a constant reminder and embarrassment for them. If I were
+Taking on Islamic religious practices wasn't hard once I did it for a while. Wearing hijab was the one that took the most getting used to, both for me and for others around me. I lived in a very small town and I got strange looks there, and several people asked me about it. But in our larger university town, the majority of people are educated about it and see women wearing hijab around town. I started wearing hijab in winter, so it wasn't difficult until summertime. Many people wear a scarf or hat in winter, but when summer came and I was still wearing a scarf, I did stand out in a crowd. But Islam is not about blending in or "when in America, do as the Americans do." It is about standing up for what you believe and what you know is right, even if others do not, whether Muslim or non-Muslim.
+It has been easy for me to take on the religious practices. I had no trouble accepting and enjoying the benefits of praying, fasting, giving up alcohol. My biggest battle is the head covering, the scarf Nobody knows this though, since I accept and submit to the covering for modesty reasons.
+Six months after shahada, I observed my first Ramadan. I had been contemplating the issue of hijab, but was too scared to take that step before. I had already begun to dress more modestly, and usually wore a scarf over my shoulders. When I visited [a Muslim] sister, she told me, "All you have to do is move that scarf from your shoulders to your head, and you'll be Islamically dressed." At first I didn't feel ready to wear hijab because I didn't feel strong
This changed as Ramadan approached, and on the first day of Ramadan, I woke up and went to class in hijab. Alhamdulillah, I haven't taken it off since. Something about Ramadan helped me to feel strong and proud to be a Muslim. I felt ready to answer anybody's questions.
+Covering was a very gradual change. I went from jeans to skirts and long sleeve shirts or blazers. Then I decided I would wear the scarf and long clothes or coat after I had my first child. It was very hard to cope with the looks and questions about the way I dressed (i.e., long sleeves and jackets in the summertime) while I was working. That's why I waited to fully cover. Once I did start fully covering I was very uncomfortable and felt so different from everyone else that I almost took it of as if to prove to everyone (even those I didn't know) that I was still the same person as before. But I kept it on and eventually got used to it. Now I get mad at people who stare at me or make fun of me, but that only makes me want to wear it more. I've been covering for three years.
Featured throughout an entire issue of Islamic Sisters International (January 1994) was the topic, "Hijab-Definition and Discrimination."' Many of the women described the discrimination that occurred in the workplace when interviewing for jobs. Some had difficulty dealing with the jeers and name-calling experienced in various public places. One stated that she feels the non-Muslim women are more offended by the head cover than the non-Muslim men. In these articles the women encouraged
The editor of the magazine encouraged all sisters to actively participate to end discrimination from unfair business practices to exclude, deny, or otherwise hide those sisters who cover, and work for the rights they are guaranteed while living in the United States or Canada. A date was set and the sisters were encouraged to wear halal Islamic clothing to their places of work or regular activities, to write or call their senator, to call or write local and national news to protest unfair misrepresentation, and to arrange peaceful picket lines in appropriate places.
The women wearing hijab express not only what a meaningful experience it is for them but also the frustration they sometimes have. Many women converts are choosing to wear the cover in this Western setting, are establishing Muslim homes, and are concerned that the rights extended to them as women in the Islamic faith are actualized in their lives. Some of their stories in regard to these areas are included here.
The best Islamic right by far is the hijab. I have a right to be looked at as a moral woman, not a piece of meat to be gawked at. People look at my eyes when talking to me. I am treated like a lady as a general rule. There are always those who jump at a chance to condemn. I would be more encouraged to go into the work force if it weren't for those few people ignorant of Islam.
+We live in a very strong and close-knit Muslim community. I graduated magna cum laude last year with a degree in child development. I have had several jobs, from secretary to preschool teacher, with no problems about my hijab. I'm active in the community and still do volunteer work.
+The only obstacles that have been placed in my way as a Muslim woman have not been from Muslims or Islam, but from the society in which we live. One often feels like a fish swimming upstream in America, like constantly explaining hijab. I have been denied jobs because of my hijab and have been otherwise openly discriminated against. Nonetheless, I am truly grateful for hijab. It is liberating in a sense that pro-ERA women will never know. I feel honored to represent Islam in such a powerful way as to be recognized as Muslim whenever I venture out.
+My perception of being a woman has changed. I no longer find freedom in tight pants and miniskirts, but through hijab and modesty. I no longer believe men and women have to be the same to be equal and that there are roles each are better suited for. At the same time, we all (men and women) have our own unique, individual talents and need to have the opportunity to nourish them.
4 I wish non-Muslims understood that hijab is only a small part of being a Muslim woman. It is too bad that the majority tend to "judge the book (or woman) by the cover(ing)"-meaning they measure Islam by a style of dress. In a society which claims to envision a "freer" means of life for women, the American male attitude toward women actually puts women way down by promoting the sex-symbol image. Hijab removes the possibilities for men to "ogle" and demands they view women as people rather than objects.
+I cover from head to toe-gloves, socks, the whole package. I wear a hair cover under a cloak, and I wear a veil. I anticipated so many problems, yet I can hardly believe how easy it has been. I even veiled for 3 1/2 years in the United States with no trouble. So many people learned about Islam because they were curious about the veil. It is a bit hot, but when the temperature gets over 100 degrees everything is hot to wear! I greatly prefer this dress to anything. Especially people who understand the reason for the veil and dress have been supportive and respectful. I get special treatment everywhere I go here and in the States. Old Muslim ladies will do anything for me. I get great seats on planes, people let me in front of them in lines, and sometimes merchants here in this country will give me free gifts or free service.
Dawah is the word used in place of the Christian terms "witnessing" or "evangelism." The scarf is often an opportunity for a woman to tell about Islam because she is more apt to be questioned than a man. As one woman wrote, "You can see us coming a mile away but [an observer] can't really tell if a man is a Muslim or not."
oI have learned and am still learning to put into practice what is allowed and forbidden. It was difficult to get used to covering, but now I am proud to be a Muslim and I find dawah, at the proper times, is my passageway. I just have to ignore the prejudices or use them as even more of a reason to put my beliefs into practice.When they become Muslim, many of the women choose to stay home rather than be employed, especially if they have children. Others are still in the work force or attending universities. Each woman has to gain a "sense" of how she will present herself as a Muslim woman in her situation.
+One of the major changes I made was to be careful how I talked to men. I needed to do it more maturely-not talk about personal things.
I cannot greet my male friends as I used to or even stop for an impromptu talk. My husband's co-workers and friends are off-limits for even a chat by the car while I'm waiting for him to come out of work.
+The religious practices are not hard, but some of the Western ideas are hard to break and can pull you from religious duties. For example, a Muslim should not be rude, but polite and firm in belief. I find it hard to be a good Muslim when I want to tell people (who are rude) to get lost. Also Western TV can be contradictory to Islamic values. This is the hardest for me.
+During my first Ramadan, we gathered together and the shaikh [elder or spiritual leader] would give talks. These talks were so pure and meaningful that they stood in stark
+When I became Muslim, I had guidelines to express the beliefs I already had. Yet these changes were tough. It was hard to excuse myself from class or work to pray. When my clothing changed (covering my hair) I lost a lot of friends. I also had to explain to male friends that it was no longer appropriate for me to see them. I've also been shunned by a lot of relatives who tell my family I'll burn in hell! I became cleaner and quieter the further I went into the religion. I became highly disciplined. I had not intended to marry before I was Muslim, yet I quickly became a wife, then a mother! Islam has provided a framework that has allowed me to express the beliefs I already had such as modesty, kindness, love. It also led me to happiness through marriage and the births of two children. Before Islam, I had no desire to have my own family since I hated kids! No matter how bad things get, I have something I can hang on to. Never do I feel alone or desperate because I know Allah is close, and I know he is testing me to make me stronger. The sisterhood and brotherhood of Muslims has been a comfort to me in hard times.
The role of the women in the home is of utmost importance in Islam, and the emphasis on the rearing of children and the care of
After marrying a Muslim (or even after becoming acquaintanced with a Muslim), a woman learns quickly not to serve pork or anything that contains pork products to a Muslim. Often by the time the women convert, they have decided to eat only "halal" meats and foods. Halal means "slaughtered according to Islamic law." This takes a lot of dedication on the part of the couple because halal meats are not readily available unless they live in a heavily populated Muslim community, and the meats are usually more expensive. The women often learn to cook many of the foods that their husbands appreciate from their own heritage.
oTo follow the Qur'anic injunction of eating only Muslim slaughtered-approved meats was easy. I knew the Bible prohibited eating pork and wondered why Christians did not follow that law. Eating meat that my husband slaughtered according to Islamic law gave me a sense of pride that he was following God's ordinance and that God was pleased with us. We shared our meat with other Muslims, and I was glad that we had the opportunity to help them obey God's law.
+A point of stress in visiting my family is our commitment to eating only Muslim slaughtered halal meats. We are reluctant to eat anything, so we bring our own food. Even though we explained the Islamic method of slaughter, they were uncomfortable with us bringing our own food. They thought this was another rejection, as if their food was not good enough for us or was unclean. However, when they
These are just a few of the many changes women converts make as they develop and grow in their faith journey as a Muslim. They seem to help and support each other through the initial journey. Although the basic Islamic precepts are shared by all Muslim sects, there are some differences in how people choose to fit these practices into their daily lives. The extent to which they choose to follow and interpret these precepts differs from person to person and culture to culture.
+Living in Egypt and Saudi Arabia has influenced me greatly, and has resulted in my really knowing that the manifestation of Islam varies from place to place, but the most important thing is the way we personally live out the religion and to make sure we always approach it with good intentions.
Muslims feel it is important to do the "right thing" as far as they can determine what that is. They view the religion of Islam as a comprehensive system dealing with every facet of life including the life of the individual, the society, and the government. The women have turned to many sources of information in order to better understand the system of beliefs they have chosen to represent. The women do not seem to have followed blindly, but they have spent time learning and seeking out answers in order to practice more knowledgeably.
+I learned to live as a Muslim both through books and the help of other Muslims. Good books describe the things that can and can't be eaten, how one should dress, the things one should not have in one's house, etc. A new Muslim has to get this information through books and other Muslims because it takes a lot of time to learn all of
oMy Saudi friend was the one who taught me how to live as a Muslim. She showed me how to pray, how to make wudu (cleansing or ablution), and how to socialize with other Muslims. She answered every Islamic question I had, from marriage and children to hadith and fiqh (science of Islamic law). I obtained (through the Saudi embassy) an English-Arabic version of the Holy Qur'an as well as books on a variety of Islamic subjects. Islam as a lifestyle was easy for me to adopt because my previous lifestyle was not very extravagant. The Arabic language was probably the most difficult thing for me. Praying, fasting, wearing hijab, etc., all came easy for me.
+I really did not have to learn to live as a Muslim because I already had the lifestyle of a Muslim. I dressed morally, I did not eat pork, I did not drink, and I tried to do right by my fellow human beings. To be quite honest, no one had to help me to be a Muslim. I learned on my own. The only things I had to change were my holidays and worship day. This was quite easy for me because when I converted to Islam it was a way of life for me. In fact, I enjoy the fact that Islam makes it simple to be a practicing Muslim.
+I learned to live as a Muslim from other Muslims. I was blessed to meet two very knowledgeable couples who taught both my husband and me the things that every Muslim needs to know. Although many things. in Islam are not complicated, living in a non-Islamic society makes them seem as such. I also feel that it depends on what area
Dr. Riffat Hassan, a woman and Muslim theologian at the University of Louisville states, "I remember how stricken I felt when I first began to see the glaring discrepancy between Islamic ideals and Muslim practice insofar as women are concerned.' She believes women in other countries are largely unaware of the differences, for despite the important roles played by the wives of Muhammad, "the Islamic tradition has remained rigidly patriarchal . . . prohibiting the growth of scholarship among women particularly in the realm of religious thought. . . ."4 Thus it follows that Muslim women have not been cognizant of how their human "rights have been violated by their male-dominated and male- centered society... [unaware] that Islam has given women more rights than any other religious tradition."' American-born women who have converted to Islam also have the challenge of feminist leadership as they interpret the rights that have been extended to women through the Qur'an. American women who have not been exposed to an Islamic culture have a unique, opportunity to sea the rights of women
+Sometimes I feel Muslim women aren't given a chance to speak out about their opinions or views on things within the Muslim community. They are put in the back and hidden away. If I go to a lecture not in a masjid, I like to sit near the front, so I can see and hear the speaker. I am dressed Islamically, so why should I sit in the back just because someone thinks men cannot control themselves? Men need to take the responsibility for their own actions. Women cannot always be hidden so men won't think bad thoughts. We should dress and act so as not to promote that, but I still will not live my life locked up in a cage, or in the back row at a university lecture. I can live my life with respect and dignity, and live as a Muslim woman at the same time.
+As a Muslim woman I would like to see women take a more active role in society-be more outspoken instead of the silent shadows Western cultures see Muslim women as. Islam gives Muslim women many rights. One of the main reasons for hijab is to enter society. Muslim women should play an active part in being role models for children.
The move to recognize the rights of Muslim women is of great concern, and these rights are treasured by Muslim women in the United States and Canada. They believe that Allah, through the Qur'an 1400 years ago, set in place rights for women that have never, at any time, been equalled in the spiritual, intellectual, political, social, and economic areas of life. Some of these rights
41 have the same rights as other women. I have the freedom of education and career if desire. I think actually Muslim women are treated with a lot of respect. I've been married eleven years and my husband has never shown disrespect for me or tried to take away my freedoms of opinion or choice. We have argued about them but he hasn't tried to stop them.
+My husband has been kind and generous to me and allowed me to make decisions in our home. I clean and decorate our home as I wish. I make it a place of peacefulness and rest-a place where all family members can relax and soothe their anxieties and forget their worries of the outside world. When I wanted to leave my teacher/ counselor position before our first child was born, he willingly accepted my decision to stay at home and never asked me to keep working to help pay our expenses.
+One area. I am grateful for in my position as a married woman is that I prefer to let someone else make the big decisions. My husband is the leader of my household, but as I tell my kids, I'm vice president. Also I am treated with respect as well as dignity. I like it.
+As a Muslim woman, I have the tight to worship, to choose a good husband, and to lead a clean life. I have the right to be protected and not abused. I am grateful for a husband who puts his wife first into consideration, a husband who asks for and respects my opinion. I don't feel any -eal disadvantages as a Muslim woman. The only
+Definitely I appreciate the right not to be hassled by men for dates, meetings, and obnoxious cliches and lines. I also am experiencing more freedom in my choices pertaining to my occupation, money I earned, and personal limitations according to my needs-not someone else's.
+My becoming a Muslim gave me the courage to stand up against ignorance and to take charge of and responsibility for my life. My life as a Christian was continually filled with dilemma after dilemma in which I hoped my father or someone else would save me. My outlook on life was analogous to the faith. Unfortunately, such an immature outlook not only hinders personal growth but also affects self-esteem. Islam gave me the self-esteem to be able to make great decisions without being afraid to carry through with them.
Muslima [a Muslim woman] is not responsible for her support at all. The husband has to totally shoulder her support, including clothing and Islamic learning materials. Any money she gets, either child support from previous marriage, working, her mahar [dowry], her inheritance, or anything like that is hers to save or spend as she sees fit (as long as it falls under Islamic guidelines for halal). Her husband cannot touch any of it! If she is working, she can contribute to the household if she chooses, because she is taking time away from the house to work. The rest is hers and hers alone. My husband didn't realize this when we got married. When I explained it to him, he said that men sure got the short end of the stick! That is true! If I get a few dollars from somewhere, I can spend it on a new
The one right I have that's very important to me is not having to work and getting the chance to be with my daughter! It also is nice to have my husband provide for me at my standards and above without really asking. Nice home, clothes, the basics, and more. I feel the home is for the wife and mother, and I love it. I'm very, very grateful to have this opportunity, and it wouldn't be possible if I weren't married. There are no areas not open to me as a Muslim woman.
